missing.

it's been almost 2 months since we've been apart. i can't stop to think about how i managed to live my life the past 2 months without him by my side. kinda feels like half of me had been displaced and i just can't seem to get that part of me back.

long distance relationship is such a bitch.

not to mention daylight savings just made our clocks go back by 1 hour and it seems like things got a whole lot more complicated with just an extra hour of time difference.

on the other hand, i'm glad that he's been adjusting well back home. nothing beats knowing that he's not feeling as awful as i am constantly feeling, even though i am just starting to get used to this.

as i was talking to sheryl last night over a cosy sofa dinner, she told me how her friend (who's in a ldr as well) would describe every single parting from her boyfriend was even harder than the previous. i wouldn't be surprised if it's really true. nevertheless, i'm still so looking forward to seeing him again after what would potentially be 3 months apart. of course, it'll be worse next year because we'll probably see each other only 6 months later.
it's funny how i tried to tell myself to cherish him more when he was still by my side and i tried my best to but it seems that it wasn't enough. i'm beginning to forget how it feels to have my hands held by him, his smell is starting to fade and even the memory of his warm touch seems to be diminishing as the times go by.

i don't want to forget; but my brain isn't helping me...

on the other hand,
i am having it better than others. at least we've got plans for our future (or at least i think i make those plans?) and all i have to do is to hang in there for the next year or so and we've got everything going for us. it's things like these that keeps me going every single day. i live to fight this battle.

losing is not an option

on a separate note;

i have been starting this rigorous exercise regiment that is starting to take a toll on my body because i've been feeling really tired even though exercise is supposed to make you feel more energetic. maybe it's because i haven't been exercising for the past month and it'll probably take awhile for my body to adjust the sudden influx of strenuous activities. i have been making a point to spend at least 2 hours in the gym daily and trying to cut down on the sugary items that have always been my weakest link. although i don't really have much time left to lose weight before december, i'm quite confident that if i keep this up, i would be able to shed a decent amount of weight.

in addition to the exercise regiment, i've been trying to establish another obligatory regiment: studying. as hard as it seems, i've been making some (slow) progress which is increasing my confidence for the first paper that's coming up on the 16th. of course the papers in november aren't THAT important, it is still important for me that i get really good grades to make sure i keep my degree at 2:1 and above. this is another battle i'm living to fight.

so many battles in life!

everyone has their fair share of battles and we live to fight them.
if we just persevere, we'll gain victory in every single one.

i'm confident that i will be victorious. moreover, my name says it all.