reality check.

it's day 3 of being away from each other and i guess we're handling it well. my pipes have been fixed and it's no longer bursting like it was last week; just the occasional leak.

so far we've been in constant contact during the time that both of us are awake. Gordon installed skype and we've been having video chats for the past couple of days and it's been good. i also found out that my mobile phone is so awesome as we could actually do video chats on it!

my friends have been the most supportive lot.

i met Meixia on saturday afternoon for lunch and a walk at portobello market. we went to this wonderful italian restaurant that she recommended. it was tucked away from the hustle and bustle of the portobello crowd and served really authentic italian fare. we had spaghetti alla vongole which is by far the best i've had in london. the first time i went to portobello i fell in love with the place even though i hardly bought anything there. going back certainly helped a lot in lifting my spirits up especially since the market is always filled with so many people, things and colors. we also queued for the hummingbird bakery cupcakes and it was the bomb (of fattening goodness).
i then headed to bermondsey street for the annual bermondsey market fair. for once the entire street had become a myriad of colorful tents that housed some makeshift stalls selling quirky art and things like bags, shoes and well..you know... ladies stuff. i met up with yoshi, eunmi and andrea where we had some cupcakes (that i bought) and booze and sat beneath the tents talking about someone whom we all miss and making fun of him. somehow with all the company i could get, i still felt rather empty. i swear, many times as i was watching the crowd there was always some form of hallucination of him waving to me from far.
i must have been dreaming.
upon realising the hallucinations, i thought to myself -- it was really a big mistake to go for the fair. i couldn't look at anywhere without seeing us. every corner of bermondsey street had some kind of memory.

how i waited at the end of the tunnel to see him running towards me.
how he'd always tell me there's actually some shop selling stuff behind a huge gold gate with a snake mural on it.
how i'd always walk past daniel cobb and get fascinated at the pictures of apartments up for sale and wish that one of them was mine.
how we'd always try to wake up for our favourite spring rolls at the vietnamese cafe (but failed miserably most of the time).
how we'd sit outside bermondsey coffeeshop having our favourite banana frappe and watch people walking their dogs.
how he'd tell me that the girl behind the counter at bermondsey coffeeshop was cute and i'd get jealous.
how he'd always call every dog that walked past bermondsey coffeeshop ronnie.
how we'd always walk past andrew brown and wonder if the hair stylists were gay.
how we'd play silly walking games like trying not to step on the darker tiles on the floor so that the distance back home would seem shorter.
how we'd try our luck at getting a table at zucca.
how he told me that the 2D building opposite his place actually looks 3D.
how he'd wait for me near his place to bring home-cooked dinner.

and then we walked to the end of bermondsey street to bermondsey square where they had some live bands playing throughout the day. i saw the ping pong table that he'd always force me to play a few games with and most of the time lose to him and get really unhappy about it. eunmi then said to me "look it's ping pong, Gordon's favourite!".
if it wasn't enough, andrea suggested having coffee and bermondsey coffeeshop. i seriously felt like leaving there and then. regardless, i followed suit and was the only one who had banana frappe.

later that night, we met up with sheryl and aditya (and a few other friends) where we went to cha cha moon to have dinner. i wasn't feeling too well then. it was a mixture of being sad, feeling sick and restlessness. so much for one night.
thorsten joined us for drinks and we were having many rounds of mojito and by the 4th mojito i was more or less tipsy. we left the bar and the remainder of us went to club 49 for clubbing and drinks where i had another round of mojito, and then some other drinks which i don't really have recollection of what they were.
before long i was walking on whitecross street back home (not knowing how i got there) and the following series of events was a blur to me.

i spent most of sunday trying to recover from a seriously bad throat and a major hangover. aditya and i went to ping pong (which was a first for me) where we had pretty decent dimsum for lunch. Gordon and i then had our first video call which didn't last very long cos he had jetlag and needed sleep. the rest of the day was just stoning and not bothering about anything else because i was too hangover to do anything. i couldn't even take control of myself and clean my room which is in an utter mess (and still is) like me. i really don't know what to do with myself.

when evening came, the most depressing thing happened to me. i had to collect his bags from his old flat (yes you got it right, bermondsey street again) and could only go after 9pm. the night was exceptionally cold and windy and i was chilled to the bone even though i was wearing a winter coat and had a scarf. the walk through bermondsey street was a nightmare. it was quiet because it was a sunday night and the weather couldn't have made it worse for me. his flatmates were really nice to help me bring the stuff down and wait with me for the cab in the cold.

sunday night ended with me having really late dinner and then doing just about nothing before i went to shower and sleep.



but i guess everyday can only get better.

deer, you're always on my mind:)