after 24.

haven't updated my blog in ages! been so busy since my 2 moms came to london... not to mention the switzerland trip we took over last weekend totally ruined my sleeping time, making me tired earlier than ever.

it's been a ride for the past week or so. finally being 24 inevitably made me reflect on what had gone on for those years that had gone by like the wind. so much has changed since i last celebrated turning 23 and before you know it, i'd probably be writing a similar birthday post like this one.

i remember how last october had been such a wreck. my philosophy on shitty september left remnants through to october and obviously i was suffering in silence. all that was, was just tasting the bitterness in my mouth.

this october, life sure feels renewed.

i found someone that i love for so much and nothing would matter as much as him loving me as much as me in return.

what much?

the change in environment has also given me a new lease into the perception of life. something as simple (though technically NOT that simple) as moving to somewhere else can actually be that beneficial. although the same october that's given me positive feelings about life in general had been a teeny bit rough on me, i'm trying to climb out from that darkness i've been trying to get out since forever.. with much success as i want to report.

i do admit that the occasional depression still occurs; it still doesn't beat knowing that he's always there for me. knowing that we're both sacrificing our private times to stay connected means a lot to me and though skepticism buried itself at the back of my mind, i know that i want to take the journey with him.

maybe it's just me being all that immersed in this relationship but i'm sure i don't want this to end. not us. not ever.

i also want to reflect on every single octobers of my life in future and look back to be glad that we're in this together. not sure how the next october would be like but i do hope that by then, this darkness would have decided to leave me finally - for good.